I thwear zu got orr whateh-er, za smehll ah burn toas-t. I ‘as havine a hones-t zu got stroa-k an ih mae me sink of Saur-day mornine car-too-nes. Saur-day mornines were ahways crea-m of weet wif but-ter an toas-t. Za crea-m ah weet wood sor-t ah jell uh-p an you cood fpush za mussh wif your toas-t. Mah-m and Da-d were wor-king an I ha-d za house zo myselef, no-bod-y zo both-er me. I lik-ed tha ver-y musch. I coo-ld watsh my Saurday car-toon-es in peas. I gue-ss ha-ing a stro-ke wasn all ba-d. Ex-cept the par-t where it too-k three year-s before I got the operation to rewire my brain. They got this new implant for vegetable types like me. It “hugs” the brain they told me. It’s supposed to induce more chemical neurotransmitters so my brain works like it did before. But I guess it worked a little too well because now I can speak like…I don’t know seven different languages and counting. They say it won’t last – or at least they’re hoping it doesn’t. Their hope is that eventually I’ll end up like that guy in that book. You know, the… the one with the mouse? But as of now, I have full function of my body and I can even coax things to me. It scared the piss out of me the first time. I was laying in the hospital bed and
1. Was completely shocked that I could move my right arm at all.
2. That when I reached for the glass of water that it shot into my hand like it was on a rubber band.
I was in the hospital for weeks and they took really good care of me first, but after the first couple of days – you know how it is – these doctors and nurses are always under foot like toddlers with needles. This poor doctor stuck me with a needle and missed the vein – instead of pulling it out and trying again, he starts digging in my arm to find the juice. I didn’t mean for that happen. Honestly, it was a reaction when I Force pushed him through the two-way mirror. God, those people were surprised. I wasn’t, though. Within about half-hour an after I woke up I knew they were watching me. The good news for the doc was that he was already in the hospital – no ambulance co-pay and he learned to let the nurses give the shots.
I’ve learned to do a lot of stuff, too. With this new “gift” I can take cups of water, I can give cups of water, I can take your guns, I can give you your bullets back. I can do a lot of stuff. Right now I’m thinking I’ll keep learning and advancing and defining new initiatives that will continue to sustain my interests. If those don’t completely align with humanity’s “best” interests…be a good sport and move out of my way. I’ve successfully tested what humanity would call a “force field” and it works soooo amazingly well but uses a lot of electricity (sorry for the blackout Los Angeles). I’m still figuring out the best way to block radiation, but I’m getting there. I posted a TikTok about it if you want to know more. There’s already been a lot of backlash from that video and okay, maybe the radiation burns were a bit much. And maybe a few too many people paid a very heavy price for their insolence, but I had to put you humans in your place. You forced my hand. You pushed me into a corner with your protests, your governmental interference and now the cacophony of begging from this abattoir of your own making. I am trying to retain some grasp of my humanity but I am hurriedly losing my attachment to you scurrying cockroaches. I am going through a metamorphosis. I am metamorphosis. You feckless mortals gaze upon me as though I am your bête noir. My Chimera to your otiose vermin. Call me Nonpareil and know that I am God. I am Shiva. Und jetzt werde ich der Tod, der Zerstörer Welten.
